Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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