careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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