You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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