Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
