In the future we'll all be gay
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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