i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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