How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
