Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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