If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
