I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
