Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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