This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
