dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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