Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize