Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
