Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
