Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
