fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
