love makes seman taste better
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
