my mouth tastes like poor choices
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
