The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
