im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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