Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
