i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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