On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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