Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
