i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
