Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My ass is underappreciated
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
