Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
