Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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