Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
