wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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