My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
