That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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