You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
