she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize