we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
