i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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