you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize