Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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