When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
