I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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