Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
