I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
