Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
