Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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(503): View more from Oregon

I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.

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(253): View more from Washington

I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

(802): View more from Vermont

Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

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(352): View more from Florida

He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!

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