thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
