i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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