So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
