By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize