he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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