He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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