We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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