I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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