she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize