ya dads aren't the best wingmen
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
