i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
