im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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