my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
